I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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