how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize