I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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