Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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