so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
