i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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