I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize