I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
