I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
