We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Mom said you looked used
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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