Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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