weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
