Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
