omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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