I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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