His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
