Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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