Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
