sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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