we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
