Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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