At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize