My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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