when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
