Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
