You smell like a Billy Joel song
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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