i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
