who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
