So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
