The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
