Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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