PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
40s are totally the cure
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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