You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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