stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
