you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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