May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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