im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
