This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize