Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
