i think my mom watched the whole time
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
