If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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