Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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