She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
