I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize