Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
