I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
