I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
this just has baby written all over it
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
