READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
