I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
