so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
