Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm sobbing to NWA
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
