Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
