this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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