her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize