i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
