Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
