Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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