Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
