wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
