Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
