What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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