I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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