But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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