The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
