I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
