By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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