we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
