I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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